This article is part of a series exploring human emotion at work. If you are new here you can read about the motivation for the series by following this link.
I stood at the center of an angry mob. Their rage grew with each passing second and every ounce was directed at me. Who could blame them? My negligence was unforgivable and it could cost the lives of many. Children and adults alike wept uncontrollably. Fear was rampant as reality set in and they realized all hope was lost. I closed my eyes and wished I would wake up from this nightmare but the stench was inescapable.
You may not know this but when you burn a batch of popcorn in the large machines at the movie theater the cleaning process is painfully long. It happens so rarely that they don’t even cover it in orientation so I was blindsided when it happened to me on my first shift.
Few things can prepare a seventeen year old for the terror that comes with looking over the concession stand at a crowd of people who just had their dreams crushed. It was Friday at 7pm and this crowd would either miss their movie waiting for popcorn or walk in the theater without the delicious buttery snack they had been craving all week.
The stakes could not be higher and I blew it. It was the end of the world. My life was over.
Looking back on this event many years later I can laugh at the misfortune of my younger self. There was no angry mob or crying children and the world did not end. However, it would be distorting my own history to not acknowledge that while burnt popcorn is hardly a monumental disaster it certainly felt that way to me.
We have a way of distorting the severity of situations as we live through them. They may start as a story in our head but the psychological responses they induce are real. Believe it or not, that seventeen year old boy felt like he was in a life or death situation. Imagine the stress and anxiety he brought on himself that could have been avoided had he told himself a different story.
You made a mistake. Some people won’t get popcorn. Life will go on.
I learned a few lessons that night and they don’t have anything to do with popcorn. In fact, I’ve burnt popcorn several times since then 🙈.
Lessons learned:
The stories in our head become our realities.
The realities we create can lead to increased stress and anxiety.
That anxiety is painful whether it seems justified or not.
Change the story, change the anxiety.
I’ve called upon this memory countless times throughout my career to remind myself that I control the story in my head.
Is that upcoming presentation a career defining moment or just another day in the office?
Will the success of the upcoming launch determine my promotion or will it be a fun moment to celebrate with the team?
Will they remember if I say something foolish in the meeting or will it soon be forgotten?
I can tell you that I have experienced single moments that changed my entire life. It is not always appropriate to lighten the mood and lower the stakes. Sometimes there is an angry mob and in those cases you should forget about the popcorn and run.
However, the next time you find yourself in a stressful state of mind consider for a moment whether you can change the story. Is this situation as serious as your mind is telling you? Can you lower the stakes and relax? Is this a burnt popcorn moment?
Do you have a burnt popcorn moment? A stressful situation from your past that seems far less significant looking back. If so, you can you use that as a reminder that you control the story in your head and you can change it.
Feel free to share your moment in the comments below.
Thanks for reading :)
Bryan
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