This article is part of a series exploring human emotion at work. If you are new here you can read about the motivation for the series by following this link.
As the room erupted with cheer, I sat in silence watching from the back row. I couldn’t bring myself to clap for a presentation that, while impressive, hit me like a punch to the gut. I should have been the one up there receiving praise. I felt like the life had been sucked out of me and my very essence had been plagiarized.
Despite feeling empty and unappreciated, that day was a cause for celebration. After all, it was my accomplishment they were clapping for. I may not have been presenting but it was my hard work that was being showcased. This was the validation I had been chasing the entire year. Finally, I didn’t feel crazy.
When I first presented my idea I did not realize it would turn into a crusade that consumed me. It seemed so obvious to me at the time and I couldn’t imagine it taking much effort to help others see what I saw. Looking back, my thinking was naive and that led to a sloppy drawn out courtship. I would have to learn the hard way.
I was a software engineer at a new startup and just joined the team focused on internal tools. After a couple weeks I noticed a pattern that concerned me. The software we were building was entirely focused on enhancing the capabilities of our third party CRM. When I dug deeper I realized that the CRM lacked the most basic functionality our business required.
In a previous chapter of my career I had done sales for a couple startups. I had been exposed to the different CRMs available and knew what functionality should be provided out of the box. The tool my current company was using came up short in every way. I began suggesting we switch to a best-in-class CRM that I had used previously. It was a “no brainer”, I explained. I would later regret the arrogance of that attitude.
Surprisingly, I couldn’t get a single person to entertain the possibility of making a switch. I made presentations, developed a compelling ROI case and highlighted the long list of impressive companies who had made the choice I was advocating for. Still, the mere mention of the CRM name led to eyes rolling and an immediate dismissal. My case was solid but no one would give me the time of day. I was missing something.
I went on this way far longer than I’m proud to admit. The universal and consistent rejection of my approach should have been a signal that I needed to make an adjustment. Instead, I doubled down and continued with a forceful push.
Eventually, I began to listen to the quiet voice in the back of my mind telling me to stop and reset. I had been entirely focused on the quantitative component of my pitch and had not even considered other factors. I reflected on the prior months of interactions and finally realized what I was missing.
This was not about tools. This was about people.
The CRM selection process that occurred before I joined had a controversial reputation around the company. It was rushed, lacked careful due diligence and resulted in an unusually long contract length with unfavorable pricing. We were locked in and no one was happy about it. The problem was that the person who made the decision was a senior executive still with the company. No one wanted to acknowledge the mistake that individual had made.
Now understanding the political dynamics at play, I changed my strategy. I softened my approach and became more sensitive to the people who may be negatively impacted by the change I was suggesting. I began gaining support one person at a time by considering what might motivate that individual and focusing on how this change would help them.
Gradually, the attitude across the company began to shift from dismissal to consideration and eventually, to broad support. An extraordinary moment during this process was when the very executive, whom I was told would never support this change, sat at a board meeting enthusiastically explaining the benefits of our new CRM. We had come full circle and it was my more considered approach that helped us make the journey.
Lessons Learned:
People do not make decisions based on numbers. They make decisions based on feelings.
Protecting the ego is a powerful driver of behavior and will affect people at every level.
When an approach fails repeatedly, a shift in perspective may be required to understand what is going wrong.
I learned the hard way that a sound quantitative based argument may be no match for overcoming feelings based decision making. Even so, we should not abandon telling stories with numbers as ultimately they will be our most objective ally. Instead, we should consider the lens through which individuals will view these numbers and make sure to acknowledge that their feelings are important too.
The next time you are building a case for something consider the non-obvious secondary factors that will go into the decision making process. You may discover that those considerations are actually the most important.
Thank you for reading :)
Bryan
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